Wow , been a while.

What a load of shit i used to put up here . I'm only posting now cause noone reads this anymore

I'm not afraid of dieing. Or afraid of the pain. It'd be worth it to die. I'm afraid of going through that and surviving. Again. That's what makes me such a coward.

If you want her just go for it , dont let me hold you back ......

You can trust me if you want to , i will listen ....

Please talk to me , you're making me feel so lonely ...

I'm so sorry for being a bitch , i will change , i promice .....

I Love You

Life is good , very good . Fingers crossed i wont fuck it up . =] . Cant wait for the summer !! T'is gonna be AWESOME !! Well hopefully ...... Need a job and money BADLY . Any suggestions ?? ......

Thats about it really , really bored and gotta straighten my hair cause i washed it , i've gotta afro that any black dude would be proud of =] ... My hair always seems more ginger when it's curly , when it's straight it's a lovely mass of auburn that seems to change colour in the light , but it never stays straight for long *sigh* .... Missing Mat so so much right now =[

SparklesandAshes

xx

Je t'aime ..... mais chére , je me déteste......

My mams making my life hell at the moment. All she wants is for me to do more and more and more ... She treats me like I'm thirteen and I'm sick to death of it . She expects me to be some sort of super woman , juggling her demands with school-work ( which she insists on being perfect) and trying to see Mat and my friends (who i haven't properly hung out with in aaaaaaaaages ) . Today was kinda typical . Was woken up by her screaming at me for not being already up and not having my room surgically cleansed. Got shouted at some more then for not taking enough cereal and then for taking too much. She spent so much time shouting i ended up in school with my hair all frizzy and the vestiges of yesterdays make-up the only thing covering my blotchy face , looking and feeling like shit. School wasn't so bad , most of the year had DATS tests so everyone just dossed for the day . Got home from school and got all homework done in half an hour and spent an hour studying for calculus. Then my mam came home from my granny's and everything turned kinda shit. She starts mouthing off to me about how i'm not doing enough study and how i should be doing twice the amount I'm doing now ..... like what the fuck ?!?! I tell her that it's none of her business and that she can't take it out on me for fucking up her own education ( she dropped out of college 3 times XD ) . Then she starts screaming at me telling she has every right to an input into my education because , get this , she's PAYING FOR IT!! This coming from the woman whose never had a days proper employment in her life !! What am i then , an investment ? I'm sick of her treating me like this . I know i sound really immature and juvenile , and i probably am . But , i genuinely hate that woman . She make a mess of raising me , i turned into a fucking ugly , socially inept weirdo , and most of the things that have fucked my life up can be traced back to her. It sickens me that I am 50% her and i sometimes break down when i see her in myself . In how I see things and how i react to things . I never want to turn out like that . She disgusts me. but anyway , this has turned into just a looooong moan that seems pretty petty and attention seeking , but what can ya do XD !!

Decided i don't care any more , gonna do my best to fuck up and have fun =]

Also , in contradiction , decided (roughly ) on my CAO =P :

1) Media Arts - DIT

2) NCAD

3) Photography - DIT

4) Irish and Media - Maynooth

All a second plan if I cant go to Edinburgh to do Film and Photography in Napier , even though my mam has her heart set on my doing Law in Trinity ( she also wants my four year old brother to become a doctor XD ) .

I has my Diana F+ camera now , i loves it =] . I boughts it in Paris but still haven't got around to buying film for it =[ . I cant afford it at the moment ......Piccy below of it !!

Paris with the school was epic !! Except for the food poisoning from that place in Montmartre ....... but yeah , i dont thing i'd like to live there though , the people are all really stuck up and everythings sooooooooo expensive . Average €5 for a bottle of coke !! I loves Dublin anyways , i'm too much of a homebody =] .

Anywho , i better go nows and study for Calculus ....... So so screwed for that test !! Ily all , comment ??= o

SparklesandAshes

xx

Trust in me, trust in me.

Don't pull away

Trust in me, trust in me.

I'm just trying to keep this together,

Because I could do worse and you could do better

xx

I will wear my heart upon my sleeve For daws to peck at. I am not what I am..........

Triptych of my little bro =] x

Free hug and cookie for anyone who can guess where the titles from =] !!

Shit weekend , Friday i went yc , was really boring and then didn't even get to see Mat that much . Saturday I stayed in to study and then went to see Maynooths musical ( which was wayyyyyyyyy awesomer then Coláistes ) . Then today my mam made me stay in an study and I didn't even get to see Mat , miss him so so much.

Cant wait until midterm =] !! Seeing friends and sessions and Paris and fun times and filming and pictures and movie nights and pizza and ice-cream and no school and late nights and sleepovers and the freedom to just not do ANYTHING! I've just been so tired and run-down lately , I'm dreading what it'll be like in 6th year !!! But oh well , it's gotta be done i s'pose =[ .

Have you ever been so so scared of something happening , that simply by being scared it starts to happen ????

Youth Café talent show auditions this saturday !!! Get your form by e-mailing celbridgeyouthcafe@gmail.com . Trust me , it's worth it !!! =]

I've been watching loadsa films lately , like good arts films like Trainspotting , Elephant and Billy Elliot ....... i absolutely love this quote from Trainspotting :

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?

-Rents

But yeah , tests an study and whatnot are really getting me down ! I feel like just going into a corner and sleeping for a few years ..... I keep getting told that it'll be all worth it in the end , but is it really . I mean we all end up with the life that Rents describes in Train spotting , don't we ??? Comment your opinion and stuff =]

This song reminds me of Mat , love you =] xx

Shout outs to Lucy and Ash , bitching buddies =P . And also to Zeta for getting me an AWESOME PLACEBO CD for Kris kindle =] .

So , thats it for nows , ttylz bitchez XP

SparklesandAshes xx

Singing praise to the streetlights that guide our way ......

I've been so so busy recently !!

Every day i've been studying or off somewhere doing something for someone and some days i'm just too tired to do ANYTHING ! I dont think i've hung out with my friends properly in about a month . Its RIDICULOUS . I miss all my friends and good times and it's coming to the point where i hear "Oh , do you remember that time when ..... oh wait , you werent there , sorry !! " every time i do see them !! Grrrrrrrr , i hate schoolwork and study and exhaustedness !! Whenever i do get the time to go out i just simply dont have the energy and end up just collapsing and going into a stupor for an hour or two .

My hairs being a bitch again !! It wont stay straight for more then 10 minutes and it's started to get thin in places from straightening too much with a dinosaur of a straightener :( . It need to b cut BADLY aswell and i so so want my full fringe back to hide the SPOTS !!! Though i suppose they'll just migrate to join the ones on my chin if i do *sulk*

In case you couldnt tell , i'm in a really bad mood today ! :)

On the bright side though i've got a whole weekend planned out ahead of me !!

Tomorrow it's town and battle of the bands with Efa

Saturday it's school play thingy with Mat (have to miss Tadhghs birthday on Saturday though=[)

And then Sunday it's homework and downtime day =[ , oh well !!

Oh , shout out to Olive for abandoning me and Luke at the school XD .....

School is boring as ever , but tolerable ..... Except for Ms Ní Donacha !!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrr i used to LOVE irish before that rat faced hoor from Dantes seventh circle of hell came to the school with her "Cruinnesas gramadaí" and her "Nathanna uaisáideacha" and fuckin BRIATHAR SAOR AIMSIR CHAITE !!!!!! Needless to say we can recite the Briathra nemhrialta off by heart but havent a hope in hell of stringing togetjher a coherent sentence in Irish !!!!! English isint so bad this year . Billy Elliot for comparative !!!! Woooooot !

So , thats about it from me , for now....

SparklesandAshes xx

Happiness hit her , like a train on a track ......

So this weeks been quite interesting .....

Thins i've done this week :

Gone to see a Vampire Film !
Been locked in a classroom by a teacher !
Been rescued by another teacher....
Accused my principal of being Jealous that Luke has hair when he told him to cut it !
(he didn't deny it !!! )
Got an A in a maths test ( first time since second year =P )
Not washed my hair ( the waters gone in my house =[ )
Heard someone saying "the state of her" at me
Edited a whole loada pictures
Actually done my homework
Watched GLEE !!! =]


Okay , now i'm bored so i'm gonna do one of these quiz thingys =]

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? yup =]

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? hummmmm , actually exactly 3 !

3) How many houses have you lived in? 2

4) Favorite candy bar? Dairy Milk

5) Favorite shoes? ZOMBIE STILETTOS !

6) Have you ever tripped someone? I don't remember.

7) Least favorite school subject? Maths ....

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? ......yeah =S......

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Nope !

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Mat XP

12) Favorite genre of music? If i like how it sounds i'll listen to it ...

13) What is your zodiac sign? Taurus

14) What time were you born? eh ...?

15) Do you like beer? Depends ...

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Duh !

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Marilyn Manson =P

18) Are you sarcastic? i dunno , am i ??

19) What are your favorite colors?Purple , electric blue , grey , white

20) How many watches do you own? eh ?

21) Summer or winter? Winter cause it gets dark early and i'm a night person , Summer cause thats when memories are made !

23) Favorite color to wear? Denim Blue !

24) Pepsi or Sprite? No.

25) What color is your cell phone? Black and pink

26) Where is your second home? i only gots the one deerie !

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Sure =]

28) Have you ever had a cavity? i think so ...

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 2

30) How many video games do you own? Me? Zero.

31) What was your first pet? woffies , she was older then me and had kittens the day i was born !

32) Ever had braces? (sigh) Yes. Off on the 21st !!

33) Do looks matter? Deffinitely , if they didnt i wouldnt chastise myself for being ugly ( no arguements !!)

34) Do you use chap stick? No, vaseline !

35) Name 3 teachers from High School. Mr O'Brian , Ms Potts , Ms Colleary * shudder*

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? Abercrombie =P

37) Are you too forgiving? No.

38) How many children do you want?EWWWWWWWWIE !!

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? they're not in ireland =[

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Preferably none

41) Do you own a gun? They'res dozens around my house !! Cap guns , star wars guns , rifles , nerf guns ..... all my little brothers !

42) Ever thought you were in love? yeah , BIG mistake !

43) When was the last time you cried? not sure

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? homework ... i'm so sad !

45) Olive Garden? no , i do not have an olive garden , but seeing as you asked ....

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? came close to it !

47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes. I want one.

48) Nicknames? Nonie , Skippy , Sionnánandonandonandonandon......

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? eh , no !

50) Ever been to Kentucky? Fried Chicken. Yes, I have.

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? Nope

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? yup , NOT TELLING WHO !! x]

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No.

55) Do you own a diamond ring? nope

56) Are you happy with your life right now? nope , guess i never will be

57) Do you dye your hair? no =[

58) Does anyone like you?I'm always surprised when they do ...

59) What year were you born? 1993

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Celebrating my first birthday !!

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No.

62) McDonalds or Wendys? No.

63) Do you like yourself? eh , no .

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? My dad deffo !

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Hair and eh ..... a pulse ?

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Nope !!

67) Have you ever eaten paste? em .....

68) Do you own a webcam? no.

69) Have you ever stripped? No , i shower with my clothes on -_-

70) Ever broke a bone?nope

72) Do you chat on AIM often? on wa' ?

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles !

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? nah

75) Rugrats or Doug? huh ?

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? BRADY BUNCH !!! Cant stand the oslens

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Eh , nope , she doesnt do much guiding ....

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? the mirror ....?

79) Do you have a birth mark? Nope

80) Do you own a car? nah

81) Can you cook? Yes

82) 3 things that annoy you: 1. People who are pretty , but say that they're ugly just to make you feel bad about yourself . 2. Pointless little school rules . 3. My hair

83) Do you text message often? all the time

84) Money or love? neither

85) Do you have any scars? yeah

86) What do you want more than anything right now? For the water to be back ...

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? depends on the movie.

88) Relationships or one night stands? hummmmm , dunno !

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? No.

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? occasionally

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? eh , no!!

92) Do you own a box of crayons? I own a PLANET of crayons.

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My little brother !

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My mommy

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? My mommy XD

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? My little brother

98) Who was the last person that you fell for?Mat ..... XP

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you?Aislinn

100) Who was the last person that called you? John

So that bored me even more , probably bored you to death too . Well night !

SparklesandAshes xx

A short history of almost something ........

I've been thinking , about life and such , and the whole point of it . If you think about it , there doesnt seem to be much to it . What i mean is that we start out life tiny , helpless and utterly insignificant and eighty years later end it the same way. Between those two times is the vast emptiness that will become your life . But what are you to do with it ?? With all that empty space and time ??

Do you live how everyone expects you to live. Gain an average salary , four bed semi detached , SUV , a dog , a cat , a husband in the civil service and 2.5 children ?

Do you live to treasure every moment . Gain memories instead of posessions , surround yourself with friends , lust new experience , travel , find happiness , fall in love ?

Do you live to lay waste to the world . Gain power , lose it , make the world your plaything , do everything for you and you only , do drugs , get the most you can out of the time you have , one-night-stand , forget you care ?

But , does it even matter in the end ? Why should we bother trying to choose when we know that we will all end up alone and vunerable . Cold , insignificant and afraid .

This all sounds really pesimistic but actually what i'm trying to say is that maybe the point of life is to live it how you choose , that whatever you choose will be the right chioce because it ultimately doesnt matter :)

This song i think kinda says it all really , this has to be one of my all time favourite songs ever and it's kinda what i think i'd say if i was asked when i'll decide what to do with my life =S

Another year , Amanda Palmer


I tried to fall in it again
My friends took bets and disappeared
They mime their sighing violins
I think I'll wait another year

I want my chest pressed to your chest
My nervous systems interfere
Ten or eleven months at best
I think I'll wait another year

This weather turns my tricks to rust
I am a lousy engineer
The winter makes things hard enough
I think I'll wait another year

Plus I'm only 26 years old
My grandma died in '83
That's lots of time if I don't smoke
I think I'll wait another year

I'm not as callous as you think
I barely breathe when you are near
It's not as bad when I don't drink
I think I'll wait another year

I have my new Bill Hicks CD
I have my friends and my career
I'm getting smaller by degrees
You said you'd help me disappear
But that could take forever
I think I'll wait another year

It'll be the best year ever
I think I'll wait another year
Can't we just wait together
You bring the smokes
I'll bring the beer
I think I'll wait another year


But anyways , Christmas and New Years were good , life is good , i love Mat , i've started studying and getting serious about my drama and ballet exams , my hairs beginning to learn some manners , i think i'm a happier person :)


SparklesandAshes xx

I've sat at home all day listening to Papa Roach and Tiesto instead of going into town .................. does that make me weird ??




Oh well ! =]

SparklesandAshes xx

“Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world - Walt Disney ...........

I counted today . It's eighteen months until my childhood is over . It sounds like a long time now but it's gonna go by so fast , i know it . I'm so so scared for that . I'm so scared of losing all the friends i have and not coming out anymore and changing into a new sort of person . Thing is , i know that this will happen , i've seen it with most other people . I just dont wanna grow up yet , and have all my memories of people and places important to me now become just memories of a past i've left behind me ......
So i've decided , i'm gona stop worrying about life and just live it , theres so little time that it's just too precious to miss and waste . You're a teenager for roughly eight years of your life . You'll be working in the same boring job day in day out for fourty years . Yet for those fourty years the people , places , joys and sorrows of those eight are what stay with you and change you into the person you will become . Thats why i've decided to stop caring what people think about how i live during the next year and a half and start living !!! =]

SparklesandAshes xx

....... rant rant rant rant grrrrrrrrrr!

I hate fights . They cause bother and ructions and you lose friends and eventually you just end up fighting with yourself . I've only ever been in one major fight and , though i admit life has been far better since , it's caused a butterfly effect that has spread throughout my whole life and now effects almost everything i do or feel or am . But , what i find worse then fights is drifting . When you think of someone as a close friend one day and then days , weeks , months go by . You're both busy all of the time , first you cancell an outing , then they do , then you stop organising them altogether ... You talk less and less , though not intentionally , you just find less and less to talk about , but you would still count them as one of your good friends . Then suddenly , on a not-so-very-special day , months and months hence , you see them . Run into them by pure chance . They're taller now , dress different . The'r hair has grown , and they've a different manner , older somehow . You greet them , warmly , you're glad to see them finally . They look up , startled , their expression asks who this person is . You're shocked , for an instant they didnt recognise you . They smile back , and greet you . A sigh of relief passes your lips , you must have changed too . But then they raise their eyes . You stare back , and it's like staring at a stranger . You realise how the past months have changed them to that stranger . That without realising it you have grown apart . The once good friends now know nothing of each others lives , they aren't a part of them anymore . You exchange brief plesentries , they are off somewhere with their new friends , you have homework to do . You turn away , trying not to crumble beneath your make up . Trying to stop the grief well up . For lost friendships that should never have fallen away . This happens far far too much .
A&C , i miss you guys so much ....

SparklesandAshes
xx

............ Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Yes it wasn't origionally Fall Out Boy who said that =P ....


But yeah today was pretty good .... BRACES OFF IN 6 WEEKS!!! WOOOT!!!! Actually cant wait !! Visited granny today , pretty un-eventful ! Got €20 though =] . Also got the day off school cause of orthodontist . All in all pretty good ....

Sick of false friends , i've decided that i dont care anymore !!!!

Parents being bitches .... report came yesterday . They saw the shit results and flipped . Thing is i've been working harder then ever but no matter what i do it's never enough . I've decided that i'll never have kids cause i'm so afraid of ending up just like my mother , and i know i will !! I wish that my mum was the type of person i could confide in , and tell everything to . I'm so jealous of people who have that sorta relationship with their parents . Almost everyone i know has had some sorta trouble with parents . Makes you wonder why we bother sometimes . They push their troubles onto you , ask you to fix them and then tell you it's none of your business , grrrrrr ! But of course everything you do is their business , and they try convincing you that their nosiness is out of concern for your wellbeing , whereas actually it's simply nosiness. Philip Larkin says it better then i ever would ...

They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

So yeah ...Friends who are miserable apper to be staying miserable , oh well , if they dont wanna be helped what can ya do !? =] Neeeeeeeeeeeed to see new moon soon =[ ... AOIFE!!!! hehe:)

Loving Placebo's latest album ... they're amazing as ever and Brian Molokos voice never gets old !!





Best song off the album in my opinion =P

SparklesandAshes
xx




*****************************************************************************************************************


Old post that i forgot to publish =P
Kinda late but oh well , was supposed to be publisted on 12/12/09

Enjoy !! xx

uselessness sucks ........

Just another day. Seems like everybody's, got a problem.
And no one knows how but, we all wanna solve 'em.
And you could give a dime, give a hand, give a shit.
Or you could look away and never deal with it......
-Zebrahead , Whats going on ?


Did you ever see someone in pain . Someone you would call your friend ( though you're not sure if they'd say the same of you ). And you can't help them ? Becuse they dont want help , and they'd hate if someone tried to give it to them , especially someone like you . How much does it hurt to watch them hurt , and know that you can do nothing about it ? It's horrible to watch them drown , and knowing that if you tried to save them they'd hate you , reject your help , and jump back in again . How do you stop that ? Stop them from hurting themselves before it's too late ..... I know that sounds dramatic but it's fucking frustrating !!!

But in other news , this weeks been reeeeeeeeally boring , got notes in journal in school , which is endangering the potential shopping trip tomorrow =S ....

Have to design a poster for the Youth Café talent competition .... Should be interesting ...

As of X-mas day CatMouseDogFish Films are go >.< ..... i.e. i get my camera and start making random films in prep for college =] hehe

Me and Luke found a picture painted over 100 years ago that is the SPITTING IMAGE of Robert Pattinson in a dress in our Art History books !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O

Debs tickets were announced , still debating weather to go or not =S ....

Getting 30 Seconds to mars tickets soon hopefully ..... !!

It's raining ... grrrrrrrrrrr >.<

And thats about it , reeeeeeally short post but there ya' go !

SparklesandAshes xx

“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” -Albert Pine................

To an outsider last night would have seemed pretty boring ........ The opposite is true. Four people found sadness in life ( one of which i'm very very scared about =[ ) , two found happiness with each other , that will hopefully last because , though i barely know one , the other i know rather well , and i know she truly deserves this happiness =] . And i , as usual , was the one to watch and listen , comfort and encourage , but never to be involved .... This seems to happen alot , i think that if i was part of a book i would be the "third person" . That omnipresence that is both there and not at the same time . The thing is , i'm always the one who listens and trys to help , i cant bring myself to trust someone enough when i need to talk ... Or when i do talk to someone i always feel like i'm pushing my problems onto them , like i'm awkward and stupid and selfish . This isint in anyway lessening( is that even a word ?) the support and love that many of my friends have shown me when i've been going through bad times , i'm so so grateful for that . Also , i'd never begrudge a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to to anyone who needs it , ever . But i just feel that whenever i have to talk to someone , i have no idea who to turn to , who to trust .... But what am i saying , most of this post is nonsensical gibberish XD !!




So to happier matters !! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES !!!! ZOMG(literally) i found the most amazingest shoes everrrrrr in schuh , and i is getting them for christmas =P .

Aren't they just WOW !!!! Zombies are smagical =] !! My grannys gonna faint when she sees them on x-mas day , hehe >.<

FRONT

BACK

The only problem with this is that this is a vintage Chanel dress that would probably cost half the price of the house i live in to have ..... So i've been internet hunting for another LBD ( little black dress) to go with them ...... With limited sorta success ....

1)

This ones from Topshop . i love the general style and cut of it and the bow in the fromts just so darn cute but theres no straps , which i dont like and i'm not sure from the picture how long the skirt is .....


2)

This ones from Monsoon . I'm not sure about the material , and the whole diagonal things a bit off putting on the body but i think that this would probably suit me more then the topshop one . Plus i <3 style="font-weight: bold;">


So anyways comments and suggestions on these welcome cause i reeeeeeeally need help =P !!




Oh yeah the three signs of Christmas happened this week ! These are three annual events that just get you so excited and in the mood for Christmas ( well they do for me ....)

1

The Late Late Toy Show !!
was smagical this year !!!! =P everyone looks forward to it from the age they can sit up to watch telly ( except my mother =[ "Bah Humbug" ) it reminds us of when we were still small and enthralled that Santa might just bring some of the stuff you see on the Late Late Toy Show if you just wished hard enough .

2


The Lights Go Up In The Village
They're not on yet but the anticipations a killer !!

3

The Coca Cola Christmas Ad
I saw it for the first time this year this week , it's the most memorable thing ever and you just know Christmas is coming when you see the red Santa and hear that "Holidays are coming " jingle =]

So yeah , thats about it ..... wow thats a long post ! (for me lol) . So i'll best be doing my homework now , procrastination ftw XD !! Slán =]


SparklesandAshes
xx

......Pon and zi muchness XP

I miss you Matt ='[ .......... Love you lots and lots =] !!!!
You've made me so happy over the past few weeks , and you means so much to me !

So i stayed over in Elises last night with a load of peoples . Was great fun .... even after walking for about an hour and a half in the pitch dark and rain to ardclough XP !!! Dannys leaving =[ , me sad !!! He's awesome !!!! Stoopid asian college thingy !!!!Grrrrrrr

Went to see a christmas carol yesterday too ..... omg soooooooooo freaky , and scary !!! Me and Lucy cried =[ !! Twas an awesome day .. Oh , i'm not smoking no more aswell ....... just thought i'd throw that in there =]

Strike on tuesday !!! Woot woot ! Allowed go clane XP yayness ......

Matt showed me this band Glamour Of The Kill ... they is awesome !!!





Well thats about it , i g2g do an essay for irish and one for English that was due for last week =S

Bye Byes


SparklesandAshes

......but you can sky rocket away from me , and never come back if you find another galaxy ......

so , something blogworthy actually happens in my life and i find myself reluctant to even think of it ..... never mind type it ...


This certain girl , who i know reads this , for reasons unknown just decided that i wasnt good enough to know her .
She cant know how much this hurts .... she was in Dublin , she told me , she told me that we'd hang out .... i waited all day for her to tell me what the story was , were when etc ....and she never did . I'm so hurt and lost and confused ... i dont know weather she forgot or "forgot" or if it was something someone told her ( a certain someone who let me down before and ever since then sickens me to see her every day) or if she finally realised what a complete waste of time knowing me is .

Whatever her reasons , why can't she just tell me ???
How can she just leave me without a clue whats going on ...???

i've been comfort eating and smoking like a chimney and washing my hair over and over to do something anything to avoid thinking , maybe it'd just me over reacting but .....oh i dunno ..... I need another cigarette ...


Tell me where do they go
These smoke rings I blow each night
What do they do these circles of blue and white
Puff puff puff puff your cares away
Puff puff puff night and day
Blow blow them through the air silky little rings
Those little smoke rings I love take me above .....
-K.D. Lang , Smoke rings


Fuck it anyways , it doesnt matter , life goes on ... But yeah , this weekend sucked !!


Getting obsessed with K.D Lang atm ..... she has the most amazing voice ever !


oh and this song is amazing !




really describes how i feel now ..... =]

SparklesandAshes xx

.........FUNGI SHOVEL !!!!!

Who would name a dolphin after a mushroom anyways....?

So's , havent blogged in a while , midterm and suchness ....
Midterm was LIKEZOMFGSUPERAWESOMENESSSPARKLEWOWSPLUSABIGRAWRCAUSEIMJUSTTHATKOOLWITHACAPITALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



or just plain very very good =] .

So went to Ffaf with Efa on a whim , was awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwesome !!!!! We gots right near the front and all and danced like lunatics =P







Then gots grounded by my mammy , but she brought me shopping and cinema to see UP and bought me twilight on Dvd so it wasnt all bad =S













Btw UP is amazzzzzzzzzzeing !! So sad =[ ..... But total animation awesomeness!!!














Went ste's party on Halloween , wasnt there for very long but twas amazing !!!! The stories going around speak for themselves !!




well , g2g ballet now , toodles!!



SparklesandAshes
xx

...... I'm not quite made of awesome , maybe very very good ....?

Snow White: Oh, they do look delicious.
Queen: Yes, but wait 'till you taste one, dearie. Like to try one? Go on. Go on, have a bite.
Queen: And since you've been so good to poor old Granny, I'll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary apple. It's a magic wishing apple.
Snow White: A wishing apple?
Queen: Yes. One bite, and all your dreams will come true.
Snow White: Really?
Queen: Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish, and take a bite.



Read this earlier in an old fairl tale book ! ^^











So yeah , bloggity blog blog !!

This weeks been pretty good . Monday was the usual Youth Café meeting thingy , except all the prospective Youth Leaders from Salesians were there ! That was kinda fun , oh and Scott gave his presentation on yhe design of the café with "rocks" XD !!!!!
Tuesday was AN HOUR AND A HALF of ballet !!!! It killed but felt really good about it afterwards . Woke up thismorning with a fecked up leg though ......
Today was reeeeeeeeeeeally boring , no Greenday for me ='[
But tomorrow i gots my geography trip and Zombie Prom with Cliffers and Simon later so should be fun .

Oh and Tru Bloods on tonight !!!!!! =]

Shoutouts to peoples ..... =] ! :


Firstly to my Efa !!
What would i do without you !!?? You're my rock , and you're always there for me to talk to if i need to , you're beautiful and sweet and un-selfish and you're one of the bestest friends anyone could ever hope to have !! =] xxx
p.s. you're mommys wellies are smagical !!


John !!
My best friend ! We've always been there for each other , through good times and bad , even if we're fighting i know you'll always listen to me if i'm upset , and i try do the same for you ( even though sometimes that doesnt work out ...... XP ) . Even with you're own problems you always try to help others through theirs and that almost makes up for you're AWFUL sence of style XP !! Jk , you know i dont mean it ....! I always feel i can tell you about everything and you've been a better friend to me then i deserve .


Scott XD
This guys amazing , he was there when i needed someone and wrote me a mini msn essay on why i dont fail at life XP . Oh , and he cant make virtual beanbags ...... Lol =D

Niamhy xx
I miss this girl so much , when she left my lift came crashing down around me but it makes it all the better when i do get to see her !! Hun , i know that i've treated you like shit sometimes over the yearscaused you stress and problems you dont deserve , and i know that you can never forgive me for some of the stupid shit i've put you through but i ant you to know that i'm truly sorry for all that i've done . I'll try in as far as i can to get on with people so that it cant cause you pain ..... But inanyways , cant wait until i see you in November
=p , gonna be great ! Remember the book ??? Ily darlin' , thanks for being one of my bestest friends ever !
xx

Dan
This guy is awesomeness embodied ! He's kinda weird but thats just him , he'll always try to help it theres something up and can always cheer you up with his quirky ways !
Dont think he'll ever make a fear an tí though XD!!!


and lastly .......

Mat <3


Words aren't enough ...........







SparklesandAshes
xx

......woah !

Hello there the angel from my nightmare The shadow in backround of the morgue The unsespecting victim of darkness in the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want Where you can always find me And we'll have Halloween on Christmas And in the night we'll wish this never ends We'll wish this never end



Don't waste your time on me your already the voice inside my head :)











So , yeah blogging again !!!

I had a pretty good week .... ish ! h Two tests in school on friday which i'm convinced i failed !! Grrrrrr i hate Hamlet quotes !!! The only good thing about Hamlet ( Luke G pointed this out !) is that it's pretty much the same story as the lion king only with people ......

Right so this is how it works out :P !!

Claudius = Scar
Ghost = Mufasa
Hamlet = Simba
Gertrude = Sarabi
Ophelia = Nala
Horatio = Rafiki
Laertes + Polonius = Hyenas
Players = Timone and Pumba












god i have no life ....... hehe !! XD


while I'm on the subject The Lion King is the best film EVER !!!! =O




Just thought you'd like to know ! =P




So , yeterday was fun . Drama was kinda shit , excepts for Simons reaction to the question "Can we walk ? " when we were doing improvs ..... he replies " Yes i've a few things to tell you to " in a really solemn voice ....
Everyone just burst out laughing !! It was just the way he said it , it was oe of those 'you had to be there' kinda things !

Matt came over after that and we watched Lost Boys , AWESOME MOVIE !!!! I think i'm starting to get bit obsessed with vampire films ...=P . He had to go home really early though , which was kinda bad ='[ ....

And then kept getting calls from drunken friends at the weir asking me to come out , did eventually when most of them had sobered up XD , so all in all twas fun !! =P


SparklesandAshes
xx

*********




Ok , so this blog is getting published two days late cause my computer sucks and decided to crash on me , so i only had it saved as a draft so yeah , sorry about that ... !! XP