I've sat at home all day listening to Papa Roach and Tiesto instead of going into town .................. does that make me weird ??




Oh well ! =]

SparklesandAshes xx

“Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world - Walt Disney ...........

I counted today . It's eighteen months until my childhood is over . It sounds like a long time now but it's gonna go by so fast , i know it . I'm so so scared for that . I'm so scared of losing all the friends i have and not coming out anymore and changing into a new sort of person . Thing is , i know that this will happen , i've seen it with most other people . I just dont wanna grow up yet , and have all my memories of people and places important to me now become just memories of a past i've left behind me ......
So i've decided , i'm gona stop worrying about life and just live it , theres so little time that it's just too precious to miss and waste . You're a teenager for roughly eight years of your life . You'll be working in the same boring job day in day out for fourty years . Yet for those fourty years the people , places , joys and sorrows of those eight are what stay with you and change you into the person you will become . Thats why i've decided to stop caring what people think about how i live during the next year and a half and start living !!! =]

SparklesandAshes xx

....... rant rant rant rant grrrrrrrrrr!

I hate fights . They cause bother and ructions and you lose friends and eventually you just end up fighting with yourself . I've only ever been in one major fight and , though i admit life has been far better since , it's caused a butterfly effect that has spread throughout my whole life and now effects almost everything i do or feel or am . But , what i find worse then fights is drifting . When you think of someone as a close friend one day and then days , weeks , months go by . You're both busy all of the time , first you cancell an outing , then they do , then you stop organising them altogether ... You talk less and less , though not intentionally , you just find less and less to talk about , but you would still count them as one of your good friends . Then suddenly , on a not-so-very-special day , months and months hence , you see them . Run into them by pure chance . They're taller now , dress different . The'r hair has grown , and they've a different manner , older somehow . You greet them , warmly , you're glad to see them finally . They look up , startled , their expression asks who this person is . You're shocked , for an instant they didnt recognise you . They smile back , and greet you . A sigh of relief passes your lips , you must have changed too . But then they raise their eyes . You stare back , and it's like staring at a stranger . You realise how the past months have changed them to that stranger . That without realising it you have grown apart . The once good friends now know nothing of each others lives , they aren't a part of them anymore . You exchange brief plesentries , they are off somewhere with their new friends , you have homework to do . You turn away , trying not to crumble beneath your make up . Trying to stop the grief well up . For lost friendships that should never have fallen away . This happens far far too much .
A&C , i miss you guys so much ....

SparklesandAshes
xx

............ Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Yes it wasn't origionally Fall Out Boy who said that =P ....


But yeah today was pretty good .... BRACES OFF IN 6 WEEKS!!! WOOOT!!!! Actually cant wait !! Visited granny today , pretty un-eventful ! Got €20 though =] . Also got the day off school cause of orthodontist . All in all pretty good ....

Sick of false friends , i've decided that i dont care anymore !!!!

Parents being bitches .... report came yesterday . They saw the shit results and flipped . Thing is i've been working harder then ever but no matter what i do it's never enough . I've decided that i'll never have kids cause i'm so afraid of ending up just like my mother , and i know i will !! I wish that my mum was the type of person i could confide in , and tell everything to . I'm so jealous of people who have that sorta relationship with their parents . Almost everyone i know has had some sorta trouble with parents . Makes you wonder why we bother sometimes . They push their troubles onto you , ask you to fix them and then tell you it's none of your business , grrrrrr ! But of course everything you do is their business , and they try convincing you that their nosiness is out of concern for your wellbeing , whereas actually it's simply nosiness. Philip Larkin says it better then i ever would ...

They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

So yeah ...Friends who are miserable apper to be staying miserable , oh well , if they dont wanna be helped what can ya do !? =] Neeeeeeeeeeeed to see new moon soon =[ ... AOIFE!!!! hehe:)

Loving Placebo's latest album ... they're amazing as ever and Brian Molokos voice never gets old !!





Best song off the album in my opinion =P

SparklesandAshes
xx




*****************************************************************************************************************


Old post that i forgot to publish =P
Kinda late but oh well , was supposed to be publisted on 12/12/09

Enjoy !! xx

uselessness sucks ........

Just another day. Seems like everybody's, got a problem.
And no one knows how but, we all wanna solve 'em.
And you could give a dime, give a hand, give a shit.
Or you could look away and never deal with it......
-Zebrahead , Whats going on ?


Did you ever see someone in pain . Someone you would call your friend ( though you're not sure if they'd say the same of you ). And you can't help them ? Becuse they dont want help , and they'd hate if someone tried to give it to them , especially someone like you . How much does it hurt to watch them hurt , and know that you can do nothing about it ? It's horrible to watch them drown , and knowing that if you tried to save them they'd hate you , reject your help , and jump back in again . How do you stop that ? Stop them from hurting themselves before it's too late ..... I know that sounds dramatic but it's fucking frustrating !!!

But in other news , this weeks been reeeeeeeeally boring , got notes in journal in school , which is endangering the potential shopping trip tomorrow =S ....

Have to design a poster for the Youth Café talent competition .... Should be interesting ...

As of X-mas day CatMouseDogFish Films are go >.< ..... i.e. i get my camera and start making random films in prep for college =] hehe

Me and Luke found a picture painted over 100 years ago that is the SPITTING IMAGE of Robert Pattinson in a dress in our Art History books !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O

Debs tickets were announced , still debating weather to go or not =S ....

Getting 30 Seconds to mars tickets soon hopefully ..... !!

It's raining ... grrrrrrrrrrr >.<

And thats about it , reeeeeeally short post but there ya' go !

SparklesandAshes xx