so , something blogworthy actually happens in my life and i find myself reluctant to even think of it ..... never mind type it ...
This certain girl , who i know reads this , for reasons unknown just decided that i wasnt good enough to know her .
She cant know how much this hurts .... she was in Dublin , she told me , she told me that we'd hang out .... i waited all day for her to tell me what the story was , were when etc ....and she never did . I'm so hurt and lost and confused ... i dont know weather she forgot or "forgot" or if it was something someone told her ( a certain someone who let me down before and ever since then sickens me to see her every day) or if she finally realised what a complete waste of time knowing me is .
Whatever her reasons , why can't she just tell me ???
How can she just leave me without a clue whats going on ...???
i've been comfort eating and smoking like a chimney and washing my hair over and over to do something anything to avoid thinking , maybe it'd just me over reacting but .....oh i dunno ..... I need another cigarette ...
Tell me where do they go
These smoke rings I blow each night
What do they do these circles of blue and white
Puff puff puff puff your cares away
Puff puff puff night and day
Blow blow them through the air silky little rings
Those little smoke rings I love take me above .....
-K.D. Lang , Smoke rings
Fuck it anyways , it doesnt matter , life goes on ... But yeah , this weekend sucked !!
Getting obsessed with K.D Lang atm ..... she has the most amazing voice ever !
oh and this song is amazing !
really describes how i feel now ..... =]
SparklesandAshes xx
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I feel a mad aoife and sionnan day coming soon :)
ReplyDeleteyou wonderful witty awesome friend who keeps me sane well saneish (is saneish a word ?:L)
ily xxx
i reallly reallllllllllly hope u feel better ur 1 of my bestest friends evveerrr :-D
ReplyDeleteps. ur wrong in ur blog.
Its not a complete waste of time knowing u.
in proof look at last year for example: if i didnt know u i wouldnt be here and i can never thank u enough 4 dat.
so in de immortal words of bob marly: dont worry be happy :-DD. cause it will piss ur enemies off sooooo much.
=[ poor sionnány!!
ReplyDeletedon't get so down darlin', it might not be as bad as you think. If you bring it up with her gently and ask her why she didn't call all day, It could be just one big misunderstanding - granted, it could be that she screwed you around, but you can't rule out the possibility that she's not in the wrong. The reason is probably sillier/ more obvious than you think (out of credit/battery, that sort of thing happens to me all the time). So keep on smilin'! =]
SIONNAN
ReplyDeleteand also to all who read this, because now everyone knows what a bitch I was.
I know I already said all this, but I want to say it all again.
you ARE one of my best friends. and I did want to see you, so badly. I miss you. A lot.
The reason is unimportant (wrong phone, couldn't get a hold of you number, stupid, stupid things that I was an idoiot for not making sure i had it written down just in case) and I know I let you down. so, this is my heartfelt, very public apology to say how sad I am for hurting you, and how much I LOVE YOU.